By Angye Fox (

Swinging is not for everyone. Issues of jealousy, low self-esteem and hurt feelings can corrupt a relationship. So if you are having problems already with your partner, adding swinging to the mix is not going to fix it.

So how does one enter into the lifestyle? What makes you take that first step? And how do you know if it’s the right thing to do for you and your partner?

Your relationship is solid. You are confident with each other and trust your partner. You love sex and are amazing together. But something is missing. You both want more. You find yourself attracted sexually to other people and want to explore those feelings within acceptable boundaries. This is not about cheating. This is when a couple can be open & honest with each other and take their sexual fantasies to a new level.

So together and I’m emphasizing the word TOGETHER, you make the decision to enter into the lifestyle. No one should ever take one for the team or feel pressured into an uncomfortable situation. Watching your partner being intimate with another person can be an absolute head rush. But you have to be mentally prepared for the feelings that occur after.

“Communication is the key ingredient to a fulfilling and sustainable swinging relationship,” said one gentleman who’s been in the lifestyle for twelve years with his wife. “Talking it through with your partner, discussing each other’s desires and fantasies, and having a clear and open mind is a recipe for success. The possibility

There are many ways a couple can take those first cautious steps into the lifestyle. Joining a swinger website such as, or will give a newbie couple the opportunity to build their profile and match up with other couples who share their same interests or desires.

These swinger websites post information on local clubs, house parties and national conventions such as International Swingers Day which will be in Las Vegas August 7-11, 2013. “International Swingers Day began as a way to celebrate the lifestyle, introduce swinging to new couples and for like-minded people to share their ideas,” explains Brian Depenbrock, co-founder of International Swingers Day. “We expect the convention to grow year after year. In 2013, we have taken over 1,000 rooms at the Palms Hotel in Las Vegas for our biggest and most ambitious convention yet. We are calling it”

Going to a swing club is another great way to get your feet wet and more! If you do a local Google search for Swing Clubs……and Iʼm not talking about swing dancing or your golf swing….you will find lists of several on-premise clubs where playrooms are available for couples to explore their passionate side and have sex.

“Meeting other couples on the dance floor at a swing club is always a good way to break the ice,” says a confident 40-something lady whoʼs been in the lifestyle with her boyfriend for two years. “Being with people all looking for the same thing takes the guess work out of hooking up. Then itʼs just a matter of finding another couple with whom you have sexual chemistry.”

Some of the most important communication happens during swinging. “My girlfriend and I have a safe phrase we use if things are not comfortable or something doesn’t feel right,” explains a 32-year-old gentleman. “And we hold hands or touch even when we are with the other partner.”

The after conversations are just as important too. Talk with your partner. Ask them what they liked. Didn’t like. What would they do differently next time. And what turned them on.

The lifestyle can stretch your sexual relationship as well as deepen the commitment you have with each other, as crazy as that may sound. Many swinging couples who have been married thirty, forty or even fifty plus years tell me their relationship stays fresh and their sex life interesting and exciting because of their choice to be in the lifestyle. Grab your partner and give it a whirl!